It has been a while since the last time I wrote... but please understand it is only because my life has been busier than ever before.
Things have slowed down a bit... well, for a few days that is.
These last few days have been wonderful. I want to say it all started on Monday night. I was going to sleep very late, after spending the entire day finishing a final paper for Mission and Message of Jesus Christ, and deep within my heart I heard God calling me to meet with Him. Although I was very tired, all I wanted was to hear from Him... so I got down on my knees and waited. While waiting, I thought maybe there was a prayer to pray, but I clearly heard the Father say to be still & not to say anything. The most beautiful thing happened while I was silent! God began to speak to me and to open my eyes to see how much He loves His children. Humbling to hear from Him, for sure.
I fell asleep thinking of God's love and hoping to glorify Him in my sleep and the following day. When I woke up the next day, a friend of mine in Australia had acted as a sort of "alarm" if you will, to help make sure I got up in time for class (because Tuesdays are my days that start at 4 am). The messages he sent me were all Scripture, which was so unexpected (shouldn't have been, but was). So I woke up reminded to seek the Lord. Everything God spoke to me the night before as I waited in His presence, my friend said to me the next morning. God's love is overwhelming.
The day was very full. From 4 am until 1 pm everything was so precious. Around two, I started to break down. All I wanted to do was cry, so I did. I couldn't stop crying. Everything made me cry. Every where I looked I saw something that made me cry. It was about time for work, so I stopped at Starbucks to buy some coffee. Hoping that would help, I cleaned up my face and walked in with a smile. The sweet manager on duty kindly told me that the coffee would cheer me up, I then realized my emotions were fully exposed. She then said the words "Your total is 6.66" HA! Nope. I replied with a laugh and said "no, it's not... I would like another donut". We all know, I did not want another donut. But, in that moment I felt under attack and did not want anything to do with the enemy. My hope was not to let the pain continue, but it did. I went to work, held myself together for a little while because my grandmother came to visit and then began to cry again. Thankfully, not many customers came in... only thankfully because I was trying so hard to pull myself together and nothing was changing. Why was I so upset? Deep within my heart, I was afraid. I was afraid that progression was never going to be possible for me. All I want is to be independent and to live on my own. Unfortunately, when you do not have a parent co-signing with you it is nearly impossible to do such a thing. The other thing that was causing pain was because I was thinking that it wasn't practical for me to leave the country. Financially, it seemed impossible. I'm still about $200 dollars away from being able to purchase my ticket, but I am believing that God will provide and soon. Please pray for me, that God would be with me financially. $200 will come soon, through work & babysitting, but it needs to be soon soon because the price of the ticket is always going up and down. Pray that God's will be done.
After talking to Alicia and Preston later that night, I was comforted and glad to know that God does have a plan and He really is going to work it all out. I love Alicia so much. Preston is amazing too.
Wednesday was nice. Church was great and Rob spoke on the genealogy of Jesus. One time I thought (and maybe verbalized) that he could preach on the genealogy of Christ and people get saved. Maybe some did. His message was about leaving a legacy. What legacy are you leaving behind? Is your life a reflection of God's grace?
Thursday was class and then met up with Hayley. She is such a sweet princess of God. I am so grateful for her love for me. Being with her for a brief moment encouraged me greatly. After meeting with her, I went to be with my family. Mom, granny and Alex were together for Alex's birthday. When I first arrived, everyone was talking about making scarves. In order to raise money for my trip out of the country, I have started selling knitted scarves. Mom found out and made five for me to sell... I have the sweetest most genuine mother in the world. We all asked Al were he wanted to eat, but he was not in the mood to decide. Eventually he just said Chick-fil-A. That was casual and enjoyable. Everyone loves chicken :) So it worked out well. That night, we went to bed early.
We woke up early and made cinnamon rolls for Alex's birthday breakfast :) He got dressed in red, because it was red-ribbon day at his school, where they talk about staying off of drugs. D.A.R.E. After dropping him off at school, mom and I went to hobby lobby to find some yarn, I left for class, went to babysit and headed back to be with Alex for his birthday. His dad, Dan, and Jan came to be with him for his birthday. They took him out to eat and to pick out his birthday presents... so mom and I found other things to do. We got some more yarn and went to Moe's for dinner. It was nice to be with mom. We had some good laughs and remembered sweet times. I love my mom. Later that night Alex came in from a long day. He seemed upset and I wanted to fix all of his hurts, but knew it was best to let him get some sleep.
The next morning when everyone woke up, I prayed over Alex before he left with his dad again. I believe God heard my prayer and protected Alex from hurt.
Saturday was work. Work was awesome! Three of my sweetest girlfriends saw me and came in to visit with joy. Their names are Hayley, Hillary and Hannah. Hillary is such a fun & happy lady of the Lord. I want to spend more time with her. Hayley is the one I told you about, that I met up with on Thursday. She blessed me so much with her presence and purchased my lunch. I was so undeserving. Hannah is a refreshing friend that I hope to know better one day! Having them stop by really encouraged me and I was thankful to God for allowing them come by. My favorite piano teacher, Mrs Fox, also walked by my work and I was able to visit with her for a moment. I love Mrs Fox. After work, it was time to head back to Thomasville. I arrived around 6 and the fall hay ride started at 6:30. Oh, I like hay rides a lot. For those that live in different countries, or just have never been on a hay ride, let me explain. There was a truck pulling a trailer with hay seating. We all got on the trailer and sat on top of the hay (except for Mariah and I, we sat with the hay against our backs... sort of on the floor of the trailer). So, the truck driver drove us down to this cow pasture. The cold fall breeze was perfect. Our destination was beautiful, the stars were in full view... and the land seemed to go on for miles. There was a fire that we all stood around... I kept thinking "consume me". All I want is to be totally consumed by God.
Ashley, Chloe, Bethany, Levi and I went back to the house early. The night was still young, so I decided to spend time with the Lord under the stars. He is beautiful. Laying out there in the cold was precious to me, because for the first time in a long time I was able to really gaze at His creation and see His power. Wow, our God is all powerful!! I love Him.
This morning, I woke up with a desire to hear from God first. I decided not to check my phone, even though I had a few messages from a friend. Knowing that his messages would encourage me and bring me pure joy, I wanted more to receive from God's perfect love. So after thanking Him for a new day, I went straight to His Word. The first thing that really caught my attention and I felt impressed to memorize was "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (the fruit of the spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth) finding out what is acceptable to the Lord" Ephesians 5:8-10. It is such a beautiful thing to remember what you were saved from and to realize that God is light. Hallelujah.
Church was brilliant. Sunday school was refreshing, we talked about Jacob & Esau. While talking about the two, I was reminded that God keeps His Word and that as children of God, we are to keep our word no matter how bad it hurts. Brother Ty talked about remaining faithful to God, even in old age. His message was spot on. Although I am not "old" I really needed the encouragement. Hearing him talk about Caleb being 85 years old and still striving to serve God with all strength really helped me to see the bigger picture. We were called to remain faithful, excited and glad servants of the Lord for the rest of our lives. Whoa, may I stay excited... His message is always life, so let's rejoice in the life that we have been given!!!
After church, I decided to check the messages I had... guess what? I was encouraged to read John 1:5 which says "and the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it".... so relevant... and so close to what I was memorizing this morning. Praise God! So glad that I went to God first. The word from the friend was then received with thanksgiving. Woohoo. God is good. God is love.
:) Fall festival starts in a few minutes, so I need to go get ready. May God bless you all.
Thank you for your support and prayers.
This journey is fun. Next time I write, I hope to tell you more about a good friend of mine & the trip I am planning for December.
<3
"Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor" Proverbs 29:23
Thankful for: God, friends, fall, Alex, mom, and the Word.
