Day Two Hundred & Nine.

DAY 209.
Well, hello friends & family! Lots has happened since I last wrote. I unintentionally left you all stranded while in Taiwan. Alicia and I stayed pretty busy and so, I was not able to write as much as I wanted to. Most of what happened was written in my journal, which I will post some of the entries so that you all have an idea of what life was like there.

Before I write any more, I have to say... I really miss Alicia and life in Taiwan. Something about being there with her was so right. My hope is that I will appreciate everything I have here in America, because I am afraid that my heart my try to stay in the past. Until the next time I am with her, the memories will be fresh and a reason to thank the Lord.

Since I have been back, no much has happened. I have slept all day and stayed awake all night the last two nights. The first night I got some sleep, but since then... the nights have consisted of me laying there with my eyes wide open. Maybe I am experiencing jetlag? Haha. Whoever made up that word deserves a pat on the back. Good one!! :) "You know that feeling when you just get back from a long vacation and you can barely get back on schedule... let's call that jetlag" I don't know. It's just kind of funny if you ask me.

Somethings to share:

December 13th, 2011
Last night, when Alicia got off work, we went to Chilis for dinner. Our food was delicious! I ordered a chicken sandwich. We shared a dessert. It was apple, cake and ice cream. Very good. After dinner, we went back home and fell asleep. I slept all through the night. Hallelu Yah. All praise to God.

I woke up around eight thirty, prayed and took a shower, got ready and went to breakfast. Alicia took me to a typical Chinese breakfast spot. We had these yummy sticks, which were fried bread- kind of like a donut, not so sweet-and hot milk. The man we ordered from laughed at the idea of us getting three pieces of bread because each piece was really two- so altogether we got six. He did not laugh out loud, but he could not believe we ate so much. Anyways, the meal was so yummy.

After breakfast, we went to Alicia's. There we skyped with her mom, made pumpkin spice lattes and danced around while taking pictures. It was fun!!!

Following this fun-filled time, I went with Kelly, Hannah & Eden to Ikea. They were looking for candles and childrens gifts. They found what they were looking for. I went to Kellys and immediately Alicia showed up. We hurried off to the train together.

At the train station, I used a "squatty potty" for the first time. I laughed the entire time I was in the stall. Just thinking about what I was doing made me laugh.

We then went to "Mr Donut". After, we took an exciting bus ride, full of laughter- because the glass doors on the bus made our faces look like some of the silly effects from photo booth- we ended up at Alicia's work. I walked down to starbucks and am now here. Alicia will get done in an hour and we will enjoy each other then! :)

Many beautiful moments in Taiwan
-Today when I was downtown with Kelly, Hannah and Eden, I was waiting for the bus. An attractive leaf caught my attention, so I went to it. On the leaf was a butterfly. My immediate thought was "resurrected life" and I was reminded of my prayer this morning that God would help me direct all of my thoughts to Him; He has. Bless the Lord.
-on the train, Alicia noticed a woman with sores on her hand. She wanted to pray for her, but did not see the time as fitting, so she mentioned it once the lady got off the train. We then agreed in prayer with God for the woman's healing! Alicia prayed out loud.
-Callum says he has written me another letter. His love is precious to me and I am so often reminded of him.

Currently-drinking a vanilla latte waiting on Alicia.

The people all around me are speaking English.

Oh, I said thank you in Chinese at the bar (where they called out my drink) and the woman spoke back to me in Chinese ;)

"Be with Alicia and her students; fill her with supernatural strength, joy, laughter and excitement for tonight!"

OH YEAH- FOR THE RECORD- I WOKE UP SO HAPPY IN MY HEART. BEING HERE IN TAIWAN FEELS 100% BLESSED. IT HAS BEEN WONDERFUL. I PRAYED AND THE LORD TOLD ME TO GET READY. IT SEEMED THAT HE TOLD ME TO BE READY FOR ANYTHING AND THAT I WOULD END UP AT STARBUCKS. THIS WAS INTERESTING BECAUSE I KIND OF WANTED TO STAY HOME AND SKYPE. THE LORD SPOKE TO ME, SO I OBEYED. JUST MOMENTS AFTER GETTING READY, KELLY CALLED AND ASKED IF I WANTED TO GO WITH HER-HOW PERFECT? HOPEFULLY GOD WAS GLORIFIED THROUGH MY SPEECH AND ACTIONS. AMEN.

(then at the bottom of this page is a picture of a coffee mug, with music notes all around it and written in cursive are the words "out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks" and to the side is written "WHAT IS YOUR AROMA?"

WHAT IS YOUR AROMA? :) WHEN YOU WALK IN THE ROOM, WHAT SMELL DO YOU BRING WITH YOU? WOULD YOU REMIND OTHERS OF YUMMY KITCHEN OR STINKY TOFU? ARE YOU CARRYING WITH YOU THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT? MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO BE THE SWEET AROMA THAT GOD AND OTHERS ARE BLESSED BY.

YOU CHOOSE WHICH AROMA YOU WILL BE.

(the last part about the aroma has everything to do with a mug that Alicia gave to me that says "AROMA". there is a kitchen down the street from Alicia's house that is called "Yummy Kitchen" and a really nasty smelling place to eat called "stinky tofu"... all of those things were running together and so I wrote out what was on my heart)

(at the bottom of this page is a picture of a flower with a stem and roots... in the roots is hidden the word "purity" to imply that the flower was rooted in purity. to the side of the flower are rain drops, that say "Good" "Kind" "Truth" "Admirable" "Right" "Love" "Noble" "Pure" and "Lovely")

Day Two Hundred & Six.

Day 206.

Day one back in America (I will write of Taiwan & the plane ride home ASAP)
-slept 8 hours last night
-woke up around 7
-prayed, showered, read the Bible
-talked with Callum
-talked with Alicia
-went out with mom & Alex/ate panera bread 
-attempted to grocery shop @ Publix
-came back to moms
-slept until 9 p.m.
-woke up, ate some bread & gingerbread cookies
-talked with mom about nuns, levitation & a dream she had of me

•the one time I went out today, I felt very out of place. I ordered soup at Panera Bread Company. As I placed the bowl right under my mouth & used the spoon to guide the soup into my mouth, I looked up only to find people watching me. It was then that I noticed, every one else with soup had their bowl on the table. 
•staying in was similar... I had to go to the restroom & immediately following that, I put the toilet paper in the trash can. Later, I realized what I had done. 
•my clothes smell like Taiwan, the food here tastes foreign & everything seems so different from when I left
•even at the grocery store I had a difficult time. The lights were so bright, the people were so different. I must have seemed strange, because mom kept asking "what happened?" "did something happen?" and eventually we just left. 
•also, every here speaks English. 
•everyone here wants an answer & I don't have any answers yet


One thing I do know is that I fall short, so often. God is constantly revealing Himself as perfect. This exposes my imperfections, but hallelujah. He is glorified in my weakness. He is. He is. Amen.



Thankful for: God, mom, Alex, Alicia, Ashley, Callum, sleep. 

Day 193

Hey, so Chynna is in Taiwan

To catch you up on what has happened thus far, I am going to post my journal entries from the last few days. Starting the day that I left the states. It may be a lot to read, so if you just want to pick a day... feel free to scroll down and find the bold dates :) Bless you all.

Only have written day 1 & 2... will write the rest later. Now I am going to spend some time in a night market near Alicia's. BLESSINGS!!!

December 10, 2011
About to leave for Taiwan. Thank You, Lord, for this opportunity. Let Your will be done above all else. Receive glory through me today.
Bless Alicia.
Bless Callum.
Bless Rob & Ashley.

Today so far... First off, I did not sleep last night because Alicia and I concluded that would help me stay on Taiwan's schedule. Around three forty-five, we left for the airport. Mom and Alex left at the bag check. From there, I got on the plane to Dallas There was a cute, young African American girl sitting behind me. The flight attendant was really rude to her and intentionally dishonored her several times. After a while of hearing them be disrespectful to one another, I felt the need to write this young lady a note. So I did. I handed it to her and spent the rest of the flight looking out the window. It was obvious to me that she read the note, because I heard it go in and out of the envelope. She started crying and sniffled the rest of the trip. I believe God used me to encourage this young lady, to God be the glory.
Getting to Dallas was nice and I was so ready to get to L.A. so that I could sleep. We loaded the plane (and it had so much more space than the first plane). I had the window seat, so two people had to get out of my way so that I could get in. They were really kind. The guy next to me immediately asked me questions concerning my flight, future, degree, dreams and so on. Every question he asked made me smile and every answer I gave made him laugh. After a while he explained to me that his parents are missionaries, he also studied theology, his sister had done work in Africa and he had connections in Australia. We were both glad that God had put us in each others path. The whole meeting was neat. Then while we were talking, they made us leave the plane because of maintenance issues. This changed everything for me because it was making me late for my flight from L.A. to Tokyo. I waited in a really long line... and while waiting, I met the most beautiful young woman. Her name was Beth. We both talked about how we were confident in our future. We rejoiced in God's plan for our lives. It was sweet. Beth believes her boyfriend, Carson, was going to propose to her while they were in California visiting his family. That is so beautiful! They were both twenty. Meeting Beth blessed me and as I walked to the desk to figure out my flight adjustments, she said "Continue to shine for Him" and we hugged. I hope to meet her again.
After that, well... I had to talk with the flight attendants about getting my flight moved. The lady helping me seemed so ready to be done helping everyone. She ended up switching my flight to Dallas to San Francisco to Taiwan. This made it where instead of getting there at midnight, I am getting there at six a.m. the next morning. I will not be leaving San Francisco until midnight. Goodness. If you remember, I did not sleep today or last night- so when she said all of this I just looked back into her eyes and cried. Imagine this, half the people in the line with me could not speak English... tears were everywhere, we all seemed insecure and uncertain. For about ten minutes I watched this lady reschedule my flight and I cried the entire time. When they called for the flight that I was originally on to head to a different terminal, Josh Chapman came up to me to make sure everything worked out. He was so sweet. It was nice to have him looking out for me; it seemed like he was my big brother. Hopefully he makes it to his girlfriends performance on time (Josh was the one whose parents are missionaries).
After getting my new tickets, I called mom and was extremely emotional. Cried the whole time. She gave me direction on what to do and said she would call every hour. She has.
Logan sent me a text message and said, "He walks right by my side. He promised to be my guide." He was asking if I knew the song. I said no but that I needed to hear that. It was perfect timing.
-Alicia said this in response to my new flight, "Chynna this is actually kind of awesome. I feel His blessing in this too. Just got home from such a fun night with coworkers. My gift is so for you! You'll freak out when u find out how specific God's provision is for you in the gift that I won!!!" Haha! I thought it would be inconvenient for her to pick me up and she said it was better! Wow, praise God. Amen.
I called Taylor-as she asked-she encouraged me and reminded me that God has plans to use me in San Francisco. I am excited to see what God has planned.

Thankful for: the unexpected, the tears, Josh Chapman, Beth, mom, Alicia Conn, Logan and Taylor.

Currently waiting to leave Dallas- 2 hrs.

I have been in San Francisco for so long. It will be eight hours when I finally leave. This has been an unpleasant last hour. The day was good because mom called a few times, Mary Cate called, Taylor called, Lulu and I talked, Cal texted a bit, I was able to walk around (purchased and umbrella) and I had the opportunity to go to a quiet room and pray. The peace of God covered me in that room and it was beautiful.
Thirty minutes later, I was checking my bags with China Airlines and they only let me take one on the plane. I had to pay for the other. I could not find the information I needed for my flight back and they had a hard time believing I am "Chynna Lee" when returning my credit card. Everyone around me, flying with China Airlines, had the same last name as me. After all that, I spent a good deal crying. Security asked me to stop crying. He said I would be going home soon enough.
It wasn't until Callum said, "Chynna I am praying now. Sweetie, trust in Him alone whose plans are woven with love and the love of the Gospel. 'Our God is in heaven, he does whatever he pleases' psalm 115:3" that I actually calmed down. Then Preston told me he was praying and Bailey sent word out to pray for me. I am so overwhelmed with His love. Unworthy of such kindness.
Thank You, Lord.
Be with this flight. Amen.

----------
Monday
December 12

Before I begin knitting, I would like to praise the Lord and document what He has done during this trip so far. The flight- I fell asleep before the plane took off. About an hour into it, I woke up to eat. Fell back asleep. Woke up after eight hours. The young man next to me asked if I was well rested; he was commenting on the fact that I had slept heaps (He was sitting two seats over). He formally introduced himself as Mike and told me he was headed home. Kim, the young lady sitting right next to me, spoke up. We all talked of our final destination and how we planned to spend our time. Kim was headed home for an emergency trip (Vietnam) because her mother was diagnosed with cancer (which, she did not tell me this until after our discussion on Christianity).
Mike boldly asked me questions and spoke of his Buddhist beliefs. The entire conversation, God filled me with the words to say and wisdom from on high. Thank You, Lord.
After a while of questioning, finding out my beliefs, major, heart and future plans, Mike mentioned that most Buddhists believe in Buddha because of their parents. He said he did. Mike also commented on the fact that many Christians believe because their parents believe; He asked me why I believe in Christianity. Wow! I shared my testimony followed by the miracles I have seen Jesus do. Thankfully my testimony does not end with God setting me free from the bondage I had to sin. Glory be to God in the highest.
When I shared with Mike and Kim about the time Rich Ford asked me to pray over her and how she was cancer free afterwards, Kim told me that her mother has cancer. She said that someone in the states told her to pray over her mom, but that she did not believe. I encouraged Kim to pray in the name of Jesus after explaining to her that God is love and so loves all of His creation. Hopefully she is able to see the powerful hand of Jesus in her mothers life.
Father God, thank You for my new friend Kim. Thank You for using me to spread Your love and truth. Please use every word that I spoke. Be glorified in her life. Remind her of the truth that Jesus in the only way to have fellowship with You. Send Your holy people to lead Kim in the way everlasting. Heal her mother, because You can. Be glorified in her healing. Oh that this healing would be a doorway for Salvation. Amen.

I began to really like Kim. She is precious to me. Hopefully I will know her again someday.

The entire flight (I nearly said "flight home") was beautiful and filled with grace.
Mike told me that I need to be a religion teacher. He mentioned that I taught clearly and with an understanding. That blessed me. My hope is not that Mike was impressed with me, or that he even remembers my name, but that instead... somehow, he believes in Jesus and lets go (completely) of the Buddhist faith. Lord, meet him and save him. Amen.
At one point, Kim snuggled up close to me and held my arm. She looked into my eyes and giggled a little. It was a precious moment. Somehow, in that moment, it felt as if I had known Kim my whole life. As if, she was family. Oh Lord, allow her to be adopted into Your perfect family. For the glory and praise of Jesus. Amen.
At the end of the flight, I hugged Kim goodbye and headed towards customs.

When I finally saw Alicia, it seemed unreal. She came up behind me calling my name. I stopped right there in unbelief. Our meeting was precious. Thank You Lord.
From the airport, we took a bus, then a taxi to her home!! Once at her home we unpacked, cleaned up & put on makeup, and set up the Christmas tree. Alicia skyped her mom and thanked her a bunch. I called my mom (on this app I got today "Magic Jack"). Mom said it was a bad connection, but I was glad to tell her I was safe. She said she knew I was safe when she had a clear vision of Alicia's face. Thank You Lord.

While at her home, Alicia gave me many things. She has given me money to spend on food. As much as I wanted to tell her I could not receive it, I knew it was God providing. Thank You Father.

She always gave me a card to swipe for the bus, an "Aroma" mug, soap that her landlord made, and two really nice pens that you can only get in Taiwan (I am using one now).
We then took a train, to a bus, which dropped us off at her work. We ate lunch at a delicious cafe. The spaghetti was wonderful; the best I have ever had. That says a lot. Then we went to a seven eleven so I could get something much needed. After that Alicia dropped me off at Starbucks!!! :) It is two, she is coming by @ four to take her break with me. Until then I will order coffee, knit (start on Alicia's scarf) and just enjoy Taiwan.
Thank You Lord.

Wow! I think I just saw an American :)

I was able to knit, read, pray and just enjoy the silence for a while. Alicia came by on her break. I then walked with her down to a shop full of neat items. She went back to work. We are supposed to meet at Starbucks at six thirty, which is an hour from now.
My body is starting to feel tired. Most likely because of the serious lack of sleep these past couple of days.
I am currently sitting outside of Starbucks. There is an area, which is apart of the coffee shop, with really large comfy chairs and cute wooden tables. On one of the tables, the one closest to me, there is a no smoking sign (I love that). Out here, a lot is going on. There are cars, buses and scooters flying by. People are walking up and down these streets. Starbucks is playing a really jazzy song. Believe it or not, it actually pretty peaceful out here. All of Taiwan has been pretty peaceful actually.

Lord, I pray that every part of my trip is filled with purpose. Use me for Your glory, even when I cannot see Your plan. Father, take control of my life. It is Yours. Use it for Your glory. Amen.
Thank You Jesus.

My phone has not been working since I have been in Taiwan. At Alicias, I will pick up the wireless internet connection so I am able to get online and send/receive Imessage(s). Other than that, it is not picking up service. At&t said it would work, but it has not.

Carry peace and love. Rely on Him who is above!!!

(For anyone wondering, I did not skip a day in my journal... the time difference caused me to miss a whole day on the calender :)... that is my favorite part about traveling all the way across the world)

:)

DAY 187

Day One Eight Seven

Well, praise the Lord! He is alive. Jesus Christ is alive. I heard a song yesterday and I remember the lyrics saying something like this "Noelle, Noelle, Jesus is alive. Emmanuel, Emmanuel death has died because Jesus is alive." What refreshing news? Praise God!

Well, I apologize for failing to write. I've been busy, to say the least. To catch you all up... I moved out of the Hilbuns, am staying in Daphne for a few days, have final exams today and I am leaving for Taiwan on Saturday. As you can all imagine, life is 10 times busier than it was last month but it's great because God is in control.

There is so much to share.

God has been revealing Himself in every thing that I do. If only words could explain His worth.

** I will write more later today once exams are over!! **

Day 149.

DAY 149

so blessed

Matthew 7:1-5 says, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."

"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified." - 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 These words were all that I could think the entire race... it was beautiful. At one point, I realized that there was a girl in front of me named Anna and a girl right behind me named Heather. I only knew this because the people there to support them kept calling their names out so loudly. It was so great how much God blessed me through these two girls. After hearing there names a few times, I realized that God wanted me to pray for them. So I did. Our final meet was spent, for me, praying for two girls that I had never met and did not even have a clue what they looked like. At the end of the race, I was eager to meet them. I did. Heather and I were able to chat for a bit, that was a true blessing. Something really neat that blessed me more than I will ever be able to describe is the fact that those girls were from a school called "Emmanuel"... I knew God was with me. But to see that the one person who stayed in front of my the entire race and the one person who stayed directly behind me the entire race were from a school with the name meaning of GOD WITH US... really truly blessed me. Thank You God.

It's been glorious and I wish that I had time to write EVERYTHING that happened today. God is good.

Today has been full of God's glory. I was able to really remember how He radically saved my life and set me free. The fact that God changed my heart really is such a miracle. He deserves all of me for the rest of my life. My prayer is that He receives all of me for the rest of my life.

This is something I wrote on the bus ride home from Conference this morning...

MY HEART:

So many times I think of how to get out of America quicker, how to escape to a land full of poverty and disease- so that I can love all of the pain out of those around me. Those are usually the times when God reminds me that I am in a country soaked in pain and seeking refuge from spiritual poverty- these times keep me focused.

No matter how often He reminds me, I am still so eager to live in another land. Wherever I go, I notice that the only requirement God has given me is to love the people He perfectly places on my path day to day. So I keep on loving.

But, when will I end up in a foreign land? When will I be able to learn from the poor? Will I ever live in Africa? Am I just dreaming or does God have such plans for me?

Wherever He leads, I will follow. If His leading keeps me in America, so be it. I will cheerfully serve Him in this land & continually pray for those in the land my heart longs to serve.

I believe these desires are from Him. I believe He will fulfill my longings. I believe He would love to send me to work in a land soaked in poverty and pain- I believe He will use me to love all that surround me everywhere He sends me. It's about His love being spread. It's all about His love



Thankful for: dreams, America, friends and God's grace.

Day 143.

Day 143

Looks Good To Me

It has been a while since the last time I wrote... but please understand it is only because my life has been busier than ever before.

Things have slowed down a bit... well, for a few days that is.

These last few days have been wonderful. I want to say it all started on Monday night. I was going to sleep very late, after spending the entire day finishing a final paper for Mission and Message of Jesus Christ, and deep within my heart I heard God calling me to meet with Him. Although I was very tired, all I wanted was to hear from Him... so I got down on my knees and waited. While waiting, I thought maybe there was a prayer to pray, but I clearly heard the Father say to be still & not to say anything. The most beautiful thing happened while I was silent! God began to speak to me and to open my eyes to see how much He loves His children. Humbling to hear from Him, for sure.

I fell asleep thinking of God's love and hoping to glorify Him in my sleep and the following day. When I woke up the next day, a friend of mine in Australia had acted as a sort of "alarm" if you will, to help make sure I got up in time for class (because Tuesdays are my days that start at 4 am). The messages he sent me were all Scripture, which was so unexpected (shouldn't have been, but was). So I woke up reminded to seek the Lord. Everything God spoke to me the night before as I waited in His presence, my friend said to me the next morning. God's love is overwhelming.

The day was very full. From 4 am until 1 pm everything was so precious. Around two, I started to break down. All I wanted to do was cry, so I did. I couldn't stop crying. Everything made me cry. Every where I looked I saw something that made me cry. It was about time for work, so I stopped at Starbucks to buy some coffee. Hoping that would help, I cleaned up my face and walked in with a smile. The sweet manager on duty kindly told me that the coffee would cheer me up, I then realized my emotions were fully exposed. She then said the words "Your total is 6.66" HA! Nope. I replied with a laugh and said "no, it's not... I would like another donut". We all know, I did not want another donut. But, in that moment I felt under attack and did not want anything to do with the enemy. My hope was not to let the pain continue, but it did. I went to work, held myself together for a little while because my grandmother came to visit and then began to cry again. Thankfully, not many customers came in... only thankfully because I was trying so hard to pull myself together and nothing was changing. Why was I so upset? Deep within my heart, I was afraid. I was afraid that progression was never going to be possible for me. All I want is to be independent and to live on my own. Unfortunately, when you do not have a parent co-signing with you it is nearly impossible to do such a thing. The other thing that was causing pain was because I was thinking that it wasn't practical for me to leave the country. Financially, it seemed impossible. I'm still about $200 dollars away from being able to purchase my ticket, but I am believing that God will provide and soon. Please pray for me, that God would be with me financially. $200 will come soon, through work & babysitting, but it needs to be soon soon because the price of the ticket is always going up and down. Pray that God's will be done.

After talking to Alicia and Preston later that night, I was comforted and glad to know that God does have a plan and He really is going to work it all out. I love Alicia so much. Preston is amazing too.

Wednesday was nice. Church was great and Rob spoke on the genealogy of Jesus. One time I thought (and maybe verbalized) that he could preach on the genealogy of Christ and people get saved. Maybe some did. His message was about leaving a legacy. What legacy are you leaving behind? Is your life a reflection of God's grace?

Thursday was class and then met up with Hayley. She is such a sweet princess of God. I am so grateful for her love for me. Being with her for a brief moment encouraged me greatly. After meeting with her, I went to be with my family. Mom, granny and Alex were together for Alex's birthday. When I first arrived, everyone was talking about making scarves. In order to raise money for my trip out of the country, I have started selling knitted scarves. Mom found out and made five for me to sell... I have the sweetest most genuine mother in the world. We all asked Al were he wanted to eat, but he was not in the mood to decide. Eventually he just said Chick-fil-A. That was casual and enjoyable. Everyone loves chicken :) So it worked out well. That night, we went to bed early.

We woke up early and made cinnamon rolls for Alex's birthday breakfast :) He got dressed in red, because it was red-ribbon day at his school, where they talk about staying off of drugs. D.A.R.E. After dropping him off at school, mom and I went to hobby lobby to find some yarn, I left for class, went to babysit and headed back to be with Alex for his birthday. His dad, Dan, and Jan came to be with him for his birthday. They took him out to eat and to pick out his birthday presents... so mom and I found other things to do. We got some more yarn and went to Moe's for dinner. It was nice to be with mom. We had some good laughs and remembered sweet times. I love my mom. Later that night Alex came in from a long day. He seemed upset and I wanted to fix all of his hurts, but knew it was best to let him get some sleep.

The next morning when everyone woke up, I prayed over Alex before he left with his dad again. I believe God heard my prayer and protected Alex from hurt.

Saturday was work. Work was awesome! Three of my sweetest girlfriends saw me and came in to visit with joy. Their names are Hayley, Hillary and Hannah. Hillary is such a fun & happy lady of the Lord. I want to spend more time with her. Hayley is the one I told you about, that I met up with on Thursday. She blessed me so much with her presence and purchased my lunch. I was so undeserving. Hannah is a refreshing friend that I hope to know better one day! Having them stop by really encouraged me and I was thankful to God for allowing them come by. My favorite piano teacher, Mrs Fox, also walked by my work and I was able to visit with her for a moment. I love Mrs Fox. After work, it was time to head back to Thomasville. I arrived around 6 and the fall hay ride started at 6:30. Oh, I like hay rides a lot. For those that live in different countries, or just have never been on a hay ride, let me explain. There was a truck pulling a trailer with hay seating. We all got on the trailer and sat on top of the hay (except for Mariah and I, we sat with the hay against our backs... sort of on the floor of the trailer). So, the truck driver drove us down to this cow pasture. The cold fall breeze was perfect. Our destination was beautiful, the stars were in full view... and the land seemed to go on for miles. There was a fire that we all stood around... I kept thinking "consume me". All I want is to be totally consumed by God.

Ashley, Chloe, Bethany, Levi and I went back to the house early. The night was still young, so I decided to spend time with the Lord under the stars. He is beautiful. Laying out there in the cold was precious to me, because for the first time in a long time I was able to really gaze at His creation and see His power. Wow, our God is all powerful!! I love Him.

This morning, I woke up with a desire to hear from God first. I decided not to check my phone, even though I had a few messages from a friend. Knowing that his messages would encourage me and bring me pure joy, I wanted more to receive from God's perfect love. So after thanking Him for a new day, I went straight to His Word. The first thing that really caught my attention and I felt impressed to memorize was "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (the fruit of the spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth) finding out what is acceptable to the Lord" Ephesians 5:8-10. It is such a beautiful thing to remember what you were saved from and to realize that God is light. Hallelujah.

Church was brilliant. Sunday school was refreshing, we talked about Jacob & Esau. While talking about the two, I was reminded that God keeps His Word and that as children of God, we are to keep our word no matter how bad it hurts. Brother Ty talked about remaining faithful to God, even in old age. His message was spot on. Although I am not "old" I really needed the encouragement. Hearing him talk about Caleb being 85 years old and still striving to serve God with all strength really helped me to see the bigger picture. We were called to remain faithful, excited and glad servants of the Lord for the rest of our lives. Whoa, may I stay excited... His message is always life, so let's rejoice in the life that we have been given!!!

After church, I decided to check the messages I had... guess what? I was encouraged to read John 1:5 which says "and the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it".... so relevant... and so close to what I was memorizing this morning. Praise God! So glad that I went to God first. The word from the friend was then received with thanksgiving. Woohoo. God is good. God is love.

:) Fall festival starts in a few minutes, so I need to go get ready. May God bless you all.

Thank you for your support and prayers.

This journey is fun. Next time I write, I hope to tell you more about a good friend of mine & the trip I am planning for December.

<3
"Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor" Proverbs 29:23

Thankful for: God, friends, fall, Alex, mom, and the Word.

Day One Twenty Nine.

DAY 129

SLEEPY DAY

God is peaceful and perfect in everything that He does. His character never changes and neither does His heart for me. In comparison to Him, everything is without worth. In each moment, I am reminded that God is the only One worthy of anything good. He is good.

This week was fall break. As you all can imagine, it was not much of a "break". Monday was relaxing. Tuesday was work. Wednesday was church. Thursday was restful. Friday was work in the a.m. and traveling to Clinton, Mississippi in the p.m. with the team. Saturday was race day & then heaps of driving. Sunday has been sweet and very enjoyable, glad for church and having the youth over.

Wednesday & Thursday were my days off, which was nice. A lot happened every day of this week. New ideas were formed & I am starting to get really excited, just understanding that God is doing so much. Even in this season that seems so dry, I am fully convinced that God is going to bring water in the desert.

I am planning a trip to visit a friend in a foreign land. Sometime after Wednesday, I will post more details.

On friday and saturday, I asked God to allow me to really enjoy my team instead of sleep walking through another season. Looking forward can cause you to miss the present. May that never happen to me again. I want to live in the now and enjoy EVERY MOMENT presented before me. God is always at work and I want to stay apart of what He is doing, always. Not for my credit, but because He is worthy of ALL of my time (not just my looking forwards). It was nice to be with the team, to recognize needs & have a better understanding of how to pray for my mates. I am so grateful for every single one of them.

My life is going to change really soon. A lot is happening.

This journey will continue with joy.

Check out Psalm 24

"To human beings belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue" Proverbs 16:1

Check out Isaiah 55:6 & let it change you.

This morning, I spent time with the Lord... and did not go to the morning service. Many would look down on me, but God was with me. For that, I am thankful. The time we spent together was much needed. I realized in that hour that God has been so patient with me. Although I am failing so much lately, He is always waiting with arms wide open. He is not only waiting, but HE IS WITH ME. HE IS ALWAYS WITH ME. I began to cry when I realized how it is possible that His heart has been breaking over me. My heart is to please Him. After repenting, I believe Him & I are starting a new chapter of this journey (life). I'm truly excited & glad to be apart of what He is doing. This season is good... because He is good.

Thankful for: Ashley Hilbun, coffee, God's forgiveness and Brother Ty.

DAY ONE TWENTY FOUR.

DAY 124

couldn't ask for more

God is glorious, every moment of every day. He is constantly revealing Himself to the hungry, the broken, and the needy. To those who recognize their need for Him, He is seen.

A while back someone told me that I have no need to be DESPERATE for God, because He is always with me. I have found that to be wrong. It is necessary that I stay desperate and needy for God. Maybe not everyone needs Him, but I do. Such foolishness, EVERYONE needs God.

What has happened since the last time I wrote? MUCH! That would be why I have not been able to share.

This past week, Tuesday through Saturday, I was in Atlanta Georgia for a Leadership Conference. The conference is called Catalyst. If you go to the University of Mobile, you have most likely heard of it. Otherwise, there is a chance you never even knew such a conference existed. That is surprising to me, especially when my friends in Atlanta tell me they never knew about it. It is a conference where 13,000 Christian leaders gather to learn under pastors, teachers, authors and inspiring young men and women. I was blessed by many speakers this year including Joel Houston (Hillsong), Katie Davis, Francis Chan, Andy Stanley, Jim Collins, Priscilla Shirer, LaCrae, Judah Smith and Jeff Foxworthy. There were many more, but the people listed are the one’s that I received the most from. It was a great blessing and surprise to be able to worship with Hillsong United. God spoke to me and allowed me freedom while they sang and again while Joel spoke.
The entire conference was wonderful. Because I am human, many things came up and had to be dealt with. Unfortunately, I began to compare myself with the young women that I was with. Fortunately, God revealed Himself and allowed me to walk in the freedom and victory made possible by the blood of Jesus.
Being human is okay, because I am human. I am no super hero. My Savior is THE super hero. Thankfully it is not a competition. The Kingdom is not about being higher than those around you, it’s actually about becoming lower in all things that somehow through such humility Christ Himself would be magnified. Now such a truth is not possible to understand, unless of course your heart is for the glorification of the Godhead. All glory to YHWH. All glory.
To sum up what I learned at Catalyst this year: we are all apart of ONE body, we are ONE church, humility is key in all things, humility is attractive, there IS a difference between secular and holy, you can be holy while living in this world, our jobs are not made holy because they are in the church-everything we do ought to be holy, discipleship is vital, prayer is crucial, Jesus is the glory of God, my calling is to serve the poor and needy, God is leading me into a foreign land, God is present, remaining in Christ is Biblical, it is important that we do not sleep walk through the present by longing for the future, embrace the moment and so much more. God was present at Catalyst 2011. I was blessed.

So much more has been going on. It would take years to explain all that God is doing. Sometimes I feel disconnected from reality and other times I feel too connected to the world, but in all things, I know God is with me. That truth, that God is always with me, keeps me joyful and alive. I am dependent on His presence.

For those who do not know, my life is SO full right now. Maybe from the outside looking in, you would not be able to tell. But, it is really is packed. Each day is different. Some would say that I am living multiple lives, I would agree.

A look into my life
Mondays are rest days- I spend the day at home. Ashley, Rob, Bethany, Levi and I just rest. Sometimes I sleep in a little too late. We walk, eat, and just relax. Mondays are sweet.
Tuesdays are packed- The day starts at 4 am (on a normal week), I wake up, get in the Word, pray, get ready for the day, leave the house at 6, walk into class at 8, finish class at 11, run, take a shower, head to work, 3-9 work, then pack up and leave for Thomasville. I get home around 10:45. The night is filled with catching up in the Bible, talking to friends, chatting a bit with the Hilbun’s (if possible) and then SLEEP.
Wednesdays are somewhat normal- Sleep late because of Tuesdays, run/walk, study and then church. My favorite part is seeing the youth and pouring into the girls in my small group. Just being around the youth brings me life and reminds me of my calling.
Thursdays are early too- wake up early, practice at 6 am, class from 8-11, then head back to Thomasville if possible, and rest it up. Some Thursdays I stay in Mobile because we have cross country races on the weekends and it is easier to just stay.
Fridays are of there own- Every Friday is different. If we have a cross country meet, I am in Mobile using the day to catch up on homework assignments and wait patiently for the night to come so that I can leave the city with my team. We travel. This season we have traveled a bunch.
Saturdays are race days- We wake up early to run against other schools. Once the morning is done, we travel back to Mobile and then I get back to Thomasville as soon as possible. Once I get back I try to run a little more, then I walk or do whatever I can with Ashley. Saturdays are my favorite.
Sundays are church days- Sunday School starts at 9:45, then church at 11, after church it’s homework time, a walk here and there, a run hopefully and then we start it all over again.

My schedule is PACKED this semester. The things I did not add are youth times, Mariah times, Reading times, writing times, Skype times, family times, coffee dates with Elizabeth, and everything else God likes to add to make life fun. To be honest, this semester is so full that sometimes I think God must be eagerly waiting for it to end so that He can use me all the more. I know He is with me, teaching me, using me and guiding me through everyday. Sometimes I just think my schedule is too busy. If it were up to me, I would give up EVERYTHING I have committed to and serve Thomasville Baptist Church with every moment. The church has done so much for me and I am unworthy. It would be an honor to give back to them what they have given to me. Until that is possible, I am running through each day embracing the opportunities presented before me.

REQUEST
I am in need of prayer, just as any Christian would be. Pray that I would run the race with confidence in Christ and undistracted devotion, that I would be quiet in my dealings and compassionate always, that thanksgiving would come from my lips and that my thoughts would be pure. Pray also that I would be drawn closer to the Father’s heart.

Thank you all for your support and love. May God’s peace be with your spirit.

“Surely His salvation is near to those who fear Him that His glory may dwell in our land” Psalm 85:9

“If I testify about myself, my testimony is not true. There is another who testifies in my favor and I know that His testimony about me is true” John 5:31-32

Thankful for: God’s presence, the Hilbun home, Alicia, Callum, Damien, Alex, Dan, Mom, and everyone in my life.

Day One Zero Eight.

DAY 108

TIME FOR AN UPDATE

A few quotes from Damon Thompson

"I don't want to sit under a worship leader who has a good voice and poor morals"

"Never not receive a person because they haven't arrived"

"If you do not like the letter, do not get mad at the man delivering the mail, get mad at the one who wrote the letter".... really, don't get mad at all :) you get the point though.

I'm going to diligently inquire...

Are you allowing yourself to be controlled by the operation of the Spirit of God?

Is your will subject to the operation of the Spirit of God?

The key in all things is allowing the Spirit of God to work through you what He is working in you.

It is the sweetest treat to watch God work in all things. What an honor it is to be used by God. When I pray, He answers. Why? Our God is so lovely. How unworthy am I... yet, He uses me every moment that I look to Him. May that be every moment. This brings me joy unspeakable. If I could relay to you all the love and joy that God pours out over me, in words, I would. But, I am unable to do so. Instead, I will live the rest of my life living from that position of love and joy. I give my life to the relaying of God's message, which is love. To Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Lately I have been overwhelmed with the love that I have known. God is always revealing Himself to me. It is a love that causes me to let go of ways that are not glorifying and clinging to the good that surrounds me. His care for me has produced in me a care for Him, which in turn causes me to care for the people around me. The love that I express daily is out of a love for my Father in heaven. My heart is to please the Father & to live my life in such a way that others may see His love through me and so desire to please Him too.

There is a friend that I have communicated with a lot these past few months. This friend prays for me, daily. Prayer takes place out of a love for the Father. He longs to see me excel in the ways of God, so that God will use me in all things. Having this friend in my life has brought me great encouragement and freedom. All glory be to God. Amen.

Our God is sweet & lovely. Just yesterday, I received a text from a friend of mine and she asked me to meet up with her to talk about what God has been doing. We met. God is wonderful!!! IN EVERY WAY! A little over a year and a half ago, I had to let go of this friend because we were not on the same page or longing for the same things. I was a new believer desiring to please God and she was not as concerned with Him as I was. Knowing that letting go of her would prove beneficial, I did. I prayed & prayed that God would reveal His love to her. After a year and a half, God answered me :) NEVER GIVE UP!!! My friend now has a fresh fire and deep burning to see God glorified in all things. This is just one example about how if you give to God what is dear to your heart, He will purify it and use it for the good. In this case, I was even given my friend back :) We plan to meet for coffee once a week... the coffee isn't our desire or aim. Our aim is to see one another grow, to encourage one another and to discuss how God is working in our individual lives. I am so blessed. So glad to have her back in my life :) Our friendship is finally real. All glory to God. Amen.

Quite a few times these last few weeks, I have been eager to pray for my husband and children. I am so excited and filled with wonder... :) All I know is that God Himself is for me.... :) Not because I am in any way righteous, but because His Son died on a cross that I would have a way to Him! Wow! All glory to God. YES!!! PRAISE YAHWEH!!!

Being a citizen of the Kingdom of God is hard work sometimes, but it is enjoyable and rewarding. Everything done for the glory of God is rewarding. If you give every part of who you are over to God, you will experience great joy and hope. Our hope is in the coming of our Lord Jesus.

:)

Today is a great day to smile & thank God. You are alive.

Thankful for: my room, the Hilbun's, Brooke, Brittany, and Thomasville Baptist Church.

Day One Zero Four.

DAY 104.

strive to attain a quiet life.

"His love is characterized by gentleness. It is not forced upon us, nor is it demanding; it is comforting and pleasing."
"The simple fact that He, alone, is holy should dramatically affect how we enter into and sustain a relationship with Him. What a privilege it is to know and be known by such a Being! What reverence, fear, and gratitude we ought to have in our interaction with Him."
-George Barna in Think Like Jesus

The last few weeks have been exciting. God has allowed me to do so much, be used in many ways, and has answered so many prayers immediately (He's so kind).

Today has been sweet. Every day is really. With God, all things are extremely enjoyable... even the tough things :) That's just how powerful He is. Our God is amazing, wonderful, and perfect in EVERY WAY! That being the case, let's praise Him :)

This morning I slept in a little only because I stayed so busy all day yesterday and needed rest! Yesterday... Around six a.m. I headed to Mobile, went to class from 8-11, ate lunch, ran, took a shower, went to work from 3-9, and then headed home (to Thomasville). Got back around 10:45. It was nice to get home. Ashley & I were able to talk some. That was nice. Being near Ashley brings me great joy.

If any of you think of me, please pray that I would walk in humility. My heart is to serve everyone in complete humility... and definitely Ashley, because of all that she has done for me. She is a friend, but so much more than that. Her heart is beautiful and I learn so much from her, no matter what she is doing. I desire to be to her what she is to me. To serve her in total humility and bless her in any way possible. Thank you all for your prayers.

My morning has been relaxed & full. A little after lunch, my brother Damien called me. Please pray for him. He told me of a new adventure he has taken on and my heart hurt after hearing it. Pray that God would save Damien & Freddy. They mean so much to me.

Something I realized today was that, the one's that do the will of my Father in heaven are my family.

:)

My hope is that you all are growing in understanding and walking in true freedom.

Bless you all.

Thankful for: Ashley, Bethany, Levi, Mariah and my swing.

Day Ninety-Eight.

DAY NINETY-EIGHT

Every now & then, I wear a pair of CAMO pants from Gap. I am a warrior, fighting in the army of the Lord

What a wonderful day to be alive (but, what day isn't?). God is working all around; He's a wonderful King.

The day started off early and I was able to talk to a good friend. We talked about a lot. It was encouraging to be encouraged. That seems to rarely happen. To just be purely lifted up and blessed is the sweetest gift. I am so thankful for relationships ordained by the Lord.

Everything about selfless, humble love is attractive. I am attracted to the characteristics of God in other people.

We talked about how people were created in the image of God.

Mobile was nice. Being on campus was perfect. Truly glorious, to say the least.

In Christian Worldview, we talked about work & marriage. Dr. Younce gave us a wonderful lesson on knowing when is the right time to be married and pure wisdom concerning our future. I was extremely grateful to be taught under him today, because he is such a wise man. My hope is that everyone in that class would pay attention with all that they are, so that they can learn great things under such a great leader.

Oh, in Mission & Message, Dr. Younce fell. He looked up too fast and before we all knew it he was on the ground. Everyone rushed to him to help him. I prayed. God protected him. If you could, please pray for my professor. He is seriously a blessing in my life and I am wanting him to be lifted up to the Father. He would never have asked any of us to pray, but that's why he deserves it all the more.

Dr. Younce is a wonderful man of God. I intentionally decided to take him for two classes this semester. Being in his class opens my eyes to many things in the Spirit and I am forever thankful for him. Thank you for your prayers.

Psalm 111
1 Praise the LORD.
I will extol the LORD with all my heart
in the council of the upright and in the assembly.

2 Great are the works of the LORD;
they are pondered by all who delight in them.
3 Glorious and majestic are his deeds,
and his righteousness endures forever.
4 He has caused his wonders to be remembered;
the LORD is gracious and compassionate.
5 He provides food for those who fear him;
he remembers his covenant forever.

6 He has shown his people the power of his works,
giving them the lands of other nations.
7 The works of his hands are faithful and just;
all his precepts are trustworthy.
8 They are established for ever and ever,
enacted in faithfulness and uprightness.
9 He provided redemption for his people;
he ordained his covenant forever—
holy and awesome is his name.

10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
all who follow his precepts have good understanding.
To him belongs eternal praise.

I am extremely blessed. All of my blessings come from the Lord, who is in control of all things. Today is a good day to recognize that God is the ruler of all things, and that is just who He is. No one can rule, without His permission. He is King!!!! HE IS ALIVE!!! HE IS RULING! Now!!! Acknowledge His rule today :)

Praise report- the Lord laid it on my heart to pray for a specific professor and his kids. So, I started praying for them without ceasing. God has given me prayers to pray, and so I have. Well, on Tuesday I ran into him and asked about his twins (the one's I have been praying for) and mentioned praying for them. He seemed really puzzled, but amazed. He asked when I started praying for them "Two weeks ago?" ... "Yes sir!" I replied... and stared in amazement as I walked away. When I came back he said that two weeks ago his children started to be a lot better and that God had given them time to really enjoy each other, which he said had not been happening before. He was so grateful & asked that I would pray for his wife. So I have been praying JOY over his wife these last two days. When I ran into him today I asked how she was... he said that she was doing SO GREAT... :) her unhappiness has changed to happiness. They are going out on a date friday and they have a babysitter to watch the kids :) How awesome? God has answered all of my prayers for their family... and I am so glad :) I will continue praying for them. Just wanted to share God's sweetness & blessings with you all :)

Thankful for: Psalms, rest, the Hilbuns, the McDowells and friends.

Day Ninety-Six.

DAY NINETY-SIX

Well, what a lovely day. Today has been extremely sweet. Before I fell asleep last night, I was able to talk to my spiritual mother. Her name is Momma Barbara. She mentors me and teaches me the ways of being a woman of God. Her love for the Lord leaks over onto me as she pours into me. Having her in my life really makes me a stronger woman. The life that she lives and the love that she gives helps me to see Christ. My spiritual mother abides in Christ and she is very free in His love; she is against legalism, but boldly loves God and follows His ways. Talking with her helped me to see more clearly. Our conversation was about the Jewish feasts, purity and holiness. Her speech is so pure, simply because her heart is pure. Being taught under her clarifies so much. Holiness is only possible when you spend time with the Holy One.

Waking up this morning, after spending much of the night talking with Momma Barbara, was so sweet. Just being alive and realizing the beauty in life really encouraged me. There is so much to receive in the Lord.

Early morning test and that went well. It was much easier than I expected & for that, I was grateful.

My second class was amazing. My professor spoke on the truth that human beings were created in the image of God. Because every human is made in God's image, they are worthy of respect, dignity and value.

Hopefully you all are having a wonderful day.

Bless you all.

Thankful for: everything.

ps- every now and then, I feel the urge to wear clothing that says stuff like "WINNING" simply because I know that my calling is to be a soul winner... and because we are VICTORIOUS in Christ, I AM WINNING. that's all.

Day Ninety-Four.

DAY NINETY-FOUR

my little Preston wanted a picture w/ me... so I stood in the background pan in hand, spaghetti time

My Desire
Desiring to see you, to see into your eyes
Full of fire and passion you stare into my heart
Longing for all of me, I give to you what I have
The holding on no longer exists
For this life is yours forevermore
Take me and break me of myself
Let every flaw flee
Being only transformed by your purity


Today was a repeat of yesterday.
Early morning race.
Babysit.
Do my own thing.

It was nice to babysit. God was sweet to instruct me and teach me different truths about being a mom. Immediately upon arriving at the Swann's house I started making lunch. We had Spaghetti. Making food was great. The whole time I was cooking, God was teaching me how to be productive & even how to be a good mother. I felt like He was keeping their kitchen clean through me. Making lunch and cleaning was so rewarding. I realized today that I could spend the rest of my life serving a family. Cooking, cleaning, praying and helping in any way possible. I'm a mom at heart. Still have heaps to learn, but definitely am confident in the fact that I am a mom.

Oh yeah... my cousin Christian said that his foot feels better today. Hallelu Yah!!

I'm genuinely hoping for something right now.
My heart is doing jumps of it's own.
All I want to do is pray, so I will.

Thankful for: prayer.

Day Ninety-Three.

DAY NINETY-THREE

He's saying, LOOK TO ME

Today has been pleasant in every way possible. Early morning, but not as early as most days. We had a race in Mobile today. It was really enjoyable. The course that we ran was one that we ran for pretty much EVERY race in high school, so I was familiar with it. On top of it being a familiar course (which never happens in college) I felt 100% glad to be running the entire race. God gave me supernatural joy. At first I did not think it was possible, because of certain circumstances and then God showed me how much He just wanted to love on me and how He wanted me to receive that love. I am so blessed to be known by God. My time was nothing significant and others could have said that I ran poorly, but the truth is my God was with me and that was special to my heart and will always be. I am thankful.

When the girls were done, I saw a friend of mine from high school. She runs for Spring Hill, so this is our 7th year racing together. Her name is Kierstan Carter. Today she told me how her hamstring was really hurting and that she would have to sit out for a few days. Knowing that God could completely and totally heal her, I asked her if I could pray. We prayed right there in the middle of the park. I believe God healed her. It was awesome to be able to pray with another believer.

My brother ran unattached (he is currently not in school & a super talented runner). He came in 4th place. For his circumstances and not training much recently, it was amazing to see. For the first time ever, I cried when he received his award. It was beautiful.

Christian, my cousin also ran. He did very well. I'm not sure of his place, but he finished great. It was a joy to watch him run. When everyone was finished, he was telling me how his foot was hurting. He was hurt after doing a 100 ft slip-n-slide. After explaining to him my trust in God as healer, I asked if he would allow me to pray. He allowed me to. That was huge. He has claimed in the past not to believe in God. So him even allowing me to pray really blessed me in a way that I will not be able to tell in words. My hope is in Christ. My hope is that Christian is healed & acknowledges God's powerful hand.

After the race, I took the girls back to the dorms. Katelyn Osborne let me clean up in her room. We then parted ways. She went to lunch and so I went to study.
Studying did not last long, then it was time to babysit. My brother, Damien, met me at the Swann's. All of us had lunch and it was so yummy. Following lunch we made milkshakes :) I really like ice cream... and milk.

Seeing my boys has been so sweet. They have always been so loving to me. It has been almost six years since I have been watching these guys. Wow, time has gone by so quick. For the last five years I have been the babysitter for Cameron, Zachary and Preston. We have never gone longer than two weeks without seeing each other (until I moved away this summer and left them for three months). So we were all so excited to see each other and just play :) They are the sweetest boys in my life and probably my biggest fans. Hearing "SHINA SHINA SHINA" repeated over and over again is so sweet to my ears. Yes, Preston calls me SHINA... like shine-uh! So cute :) He's been saying it that way since he was 2.. or younger maybe :) Having them back in my life is so important. My heart is for them and always will be.

There are so many sweet things on my mind... mainly just gratefulness.

A PROVERB
"When words are many sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise" Proverbs 10:9


Today, I have written that proverb on my arm... and something really neat happened. My brother saw something on my wrist and said, "What does that say?" I spoke it to him and he responded with the words, "Thanks, I needed that". This is always a big deal... as big of a deal as Christian allowing me to pray... this is a big deal because Damien has also denied truth recently.

One of the hardest things is knowing that my two best buddies from growing up are lost. My life is a little too much for them most of the time and I can tell. Sometimes I grow weak and fail to leave a good taste... but it is never intentional. Ever. I always want to bless them and show them the truth that living for Jesus Christ, my Savior, is the most wonderful life I could ever have. That Christ is the Savior, King and Ruler of all things. When I fail to make the gospel attractive, by weakness, my hope is that somehow Christ shines through me anyways. Deep within, I know that He is seen as strong... even in my weakness. If you ever think of my brother, Damien, or my cousin, Christian, please pray that God would save them from the ways of the world and deliver them into life and life abundant. I stand in Victory for them, believing God will save them.

Oh, just a little information for those wondering...
Being single? How's it going? Of course, that is what you may have wondered for the days that I have failed to write anything about that part of the journey... well, it is GREAT! God has opened my eyes to a few deep things concerning my future husband and family, and I am genuinely looking forward to seeing how it all works together. Being single has been refreshing and intentionally freeing. I am thankful that God has given me the grace to embrace these days... and I hope that you all (who follow) are enjoying my journey just as much as I am.

Be blessed and stay in touch :) I'd love to hear how God is working in and through you all.

Love always,
Chynna Love Lee

Thankful for: cross country, teammates, family, Preston, Zachary, Cameron, and restful afternoons.


ps- a while back there was a young woman named Rose who started following my blog. At first I asked her questions to find out who she was and what made her follow my blog. Long story short, she is a follower of Jesus Christ all the way from Romania. It encouraged me so much to know I now had a friend from Romania that I had never met in person. Well, today we were able to talk on yahoo chat and it was so exciting. Yes, it was a brief conversation... but it was so nice to just hear about her life for a moment. I am so thankful for friends in foreign lands... for meeting other believers... it is so exciting :) I love new friends.

PICTURES
Tags: Chynna, Zachary and Preston

Day Ninety-Two.

DAY NINETY-TWO

"Your job is to become that newer researcher" Kate L. Turabian

This morning, I was reading in our Research Seminar book on writing in Turabian. This quote caught my attention and suddenly I was applying Turabian encouragement to my walk with Christ. Your job is to become that newer researcher... in writing research papers, it is important to dig deeper and find out more about the topic than others have. When you finish a paper, you should have found out more than those in the past knew. You are the researcher, really. Well, the same applies to Christianity... to walking with God. Every day, God is doing something new. He is constantly working in all things and through all things. The opportunity before us, as Christians, is to become that newer researcher, the one who seeks Him and searches out the depths of who He is.

I believe that everything we do leads to a knowledge of the Holy One. The catch is, are we willing to seek that knowledge out? Because, if we are, then we will find that God is every where. That knowledge will open us up to the realization that God is pouring out His favor and love over us in all situations.

There is so much to learn. The more we learn, the more we are expected to give. We receive in order that we may pour out.

Scripture
"Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, who share in the heavenly calling, let us fix our eyes on Jesus, whom we acknowledge as our apostle and high priest" Hebrews 3:1

"For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of all things" Hebrews 3:4


Please pray that I would become so selfless, in order for Christ to reign through me in all things. May He become greater & I become less.

To God be the glory forever.

Thankful for: days full of class & homework, sunflowers and Hebrews.

ps- some time last week I was walking a friend of mine back to his dorm. He was in a wreck a while back and was paralyzed from his shoulders down. As he pushed himself down the sidewalk in his wheelchair, I claimed that it was a miracle that he was able to move his arms like that, being paralyzed. He returned with a quick "the miracle is that God changed my heart". His words keep piercing me day after day. I am so comforted with the truth that God changing our hearts is the most miraculous thing that could have ever taken place. My friend and I have a similar story; God rescued us from a life of pitiful seeking and gave us the one thing we did not deserve. Life was awarded through the blood of Jesus. This "ps" is just a reminder that God is in the miracle business. God changing lives is a miracle. God changing a heart of stone into a heart that loves IS a miracle.

Day eighty-nine.

DAY EIGHTY-NINE

early nights with sweet friends & early mornings with the King Himself

Before I say ANYTHING AT ALL... I just want to say THANK YOU LORD FOR SUCH A SWEET DAY ALREADY :)

This morning has been special... it's only 3:40, but it's the best 3:40 ever. Around 1:30 I felt a quickening of the Holy Spirit to wake up and meet with God. It was so sweet. Just being with Him is the most amazing thing ever. How neat? God allows us to fellowship with Him. What an honor.

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.” Mark 12:41-44

Reading this passage this morning really blessed me. What a wonderful testimony. This woman gave EVERYTHING she had to live on.... to the Lord. Her faith is beautiful. Of course, I was broken at this... and have asked that God will continue to give me the grace to give my ALL. He deserves it all.

Something He has really impressed upon my heart this morning is that we are forgiven because of Jesus' blood. There is nothing -nothing at all- that I have done to deserve His grace... I never worked for it. But, I now can work in response to His love... and that is what I choose to do. He deserves all.

Well, early morning talk planned with a friend... so I must go :)

One quick story before I leave....
Last night was my first night eating with the Hilbuns! Yiew! Rob warned me before lunch that he would not let me know what we were eating until after we ate :) So, lunch happened and we were all eating a VERY delicious lunch. The "chicken" (I was very aware that it was not chicken) was very yummy... it was kind of rough compared to chicken... but I ate as much of it as I could (the only reason I couldn't finish it had everything to with the fact that I was afraid it would be a delicate animal that didn't deserve eating).... sure enough.... after everyone was finished Rob asked us to play the guessing game... I thought it was something strange like an armidillo and then Rob gave us clue "popular in America around April... in the house"... I couldn't think of any animal that was only popular for a season... then Tara Frasier said "ITS A BUNNY" ... yeah, not a rabbit... a bunny... so at that moment I realized... wow, I just ate a bunny rabbit.... :) it happened... I'm officially thankful for the memory :)

This is going to be a fun semester.

Thankful for: early mornings, school and friends.

Day Eighty-Eight.

DAY EIGHTY-EIGHT

"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place where He prayed" Mark 1:35
wow, how beautiful is our Lord


The following is a journal entry/blog from two days ago... it was written as we headed to Memphis, TN

September 3, 2011
Journal Entry
Blog- Chynna Lee

It is only appropriate to live as if we have been resurrected from the grave. This is simply understood, because we have been resurrected. Before we knew Christ Jesus, we walked in death day after day. The truth is, we longed for life and looked for it in every thing that we participated in.

Instead of being fulfilled, we packed more and more onto our schedules or into our minds in order to find life. Life was shining all around us, but we had no idea how to receive it. The moment we gave up the work and asked for Salvation from all of our wicked ways, God gave us life.

What was a mystery before became revealed. Life was gained through death. Dying completely to self was all that it took. Saying yes to the one who first resurrected from the grave made it possible for us to wake up out of death and into life. All praise to God, our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ for life.

Because we once walked in darkness and were radically delivered into light, we are to continue in the light. There is no reason to follow the ways we knew before. Instead, we are called to something much higher. Our calling is to let go of everything we once held so dear, those strongholds that killed us day-by-day, and follow The Way with all that we are.

We are able to receive as much of God’s love as we choose. The stretch is, we must receive God’s love. He pours it over us constantly. Are we acknowledging His love? Are we noticing His presence in our lives? If so, we have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. This being the case, we also see that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Nothing else even grasps our attention anymore. The ways of the world now make us uncomfortably passionate for God to be glorified.

Those have not yet chosen God to be their all in all will choose Him. It is now or later. Those who choose now, choose to walk in eternity now. Those who say yes to the call on their lives say yes to being citizens of Heaven while still on earth. This means those who walk by faith in the Son of God are not known here, for the world did not even know Him. Those who have failed to accept God as their everything have only failed to see the truth. For He is who He says He is.

As Christians, we can not hesitate to spread the love that has been so graciously given to us. We know the truth of living in God’s presence, we know the satisfaction of His favor, we know the peace that surpasses all understanding, and we have life. Let us share this love, this life, with all that we come in contact with. Regardless of how we feel or what we do/do not feel, let us spread the love of Christ with all that God has given us to minister to.

Being alive means that no matter how unworthy you feel, how unprepared you think you are, what you have done, where you have been, you still choose to look to Him and worship Him (as a lifestyle). It means not focusing on your faults, but looking to His perfection. When we look to God’s strength, instead of our weakness, we are able to overcome all that is before us. His strength is greater than any strength ever, simply because He created strength and no creation is greater than the Creator.

Look to God and see Him for who He is. Focus on His love for you; it has the power to change a broken man into a worshipping warrior. Worship is the key; the key for all things really. Worshipping God as a lifestyle is the only way any man will ever truly be complete, for we were created to worship. Worship is our calling, destiny, purpose, and eternity. Everything comes back to worship. Because you have been set free, choose worship and live.



fast forward to...TODAY
This morning has been beautiful. I have had the most fulfilling, pleasant time with the Lord. All I can say is... meet with Him when He calls your name. If you hear Him, do not harden your hearts. Listening to Him is the sweetest. Thank You, Jesus, for making a way for us to the Father. Amen.

"After me comes the one more powerful than I, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie" Mark 1:7 This is a quote from John the Baptist. Reading over it this morning brought me to tears. Look at his humility, his understanding of the Lord Jesus Christ. John the Baptist in no way competed for a name. Instead, he did the opposite and claimed his unworthiness. In the next verse, John the Baptist is the one baptizing Jesus. Wow, what an honor? It is beautiful how God honors the one who humbles himself. Please pray that God's people would humble themselves and lift Jesus higher and higher. That instead of seeking self-glorification, we would work together to bring praise to the name of our Savior. That we would all call out in unity "He must become greater, I must become less". The truth is, humility is key. In all things, humility is key. The lower we are, the higher we are able to see Him. We all know that when we see Jesus for who He is, things change. He holds all power. Lord, let us see that.

"When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things" Mark 6:34. My prayer is that we, as God's children, would become compassionate just as Jesus was.

The Word of God is powerful. No matter who you are, where you have been, how you view the Bible, who has taught you... no matter what, YOU NEED TO KNOW THE WORD OF GOD. It has the power to save you. Read on.

Be blessed :)

God is here. God is real. God is willing.

Thankful for: Thomasville, prayer, the Bible, the Hilbun's, & fellowship with God Himself.

Day Eighty-Three.

Day Eighty-Three

such a sweet day

You know, God is just always doing a wonderful thing! He is constantly working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). I am honored to be a child of God. This morning, I was very relaxed (simply because I did not have class) and so I was able to just enjoy the morning in peace... all alone with the Lord. Midday Mary Cate woke up and we talked a little, then I headed to the school for a meeting. The meeting went well. My pastors wife came to our school to speak at the IMF/MA meeting. She spoke to us about the opportunities to serve the homeless in our community. I was very glad to be in there. As she talked, my heart was turned. To think of what it would be like to be homeless is beyond me. How could I ever know? These last few weeks, I have been "homeless" but not really. God has provided a place for me to stay, food for me to eat (plenty), and financially He is always blessing me. His blessings are more than enough for me. As we sat there in that meeting, I couldn't help but think... I have no idea what it is like to be completely without... and understood that is because my Father is the One who has EVERYTHING. All things belong to my Father. His children will never be in need. Knowing this, I am compelled to love. Compelled to share with the homeless (and everyone really) the good news that God is willing to adopt them into His family. That if they are in need of a Papa, God will be the one to take them in. All they are to do is ask. So my heart is changing & being shaped by LOVE.

The rest of the day was interestingly blessed. God made everything work out. Rested (took a nap on accident), went to cross country practice (was very thankful for my times), finished up a few assignments, and Chill with the McDowells. Mary Cate is moving to Idaho on Friday, so I have been spending much time with her! :)

There is so much happening. I want everyone to know that God is really really doing an amazing thing in and around me. He is deepening my understanding of His love & requiring my obedience in supernatural things. For instance, yesterday He laid in on my heart to pray over many people that were sick or injured. A lot of them told me immediately that their pain was gone. I was so grateful to be apart of what God was doing. It is always such a joy to serve the LORD. To know Him and be known by Him is all I ever want in this life.

God is God. He is great, wonderful, powerful, loving, patient and perfect in every way.

Find Him in all things. Look for Him & you WILL find Him... He IS everywhere :)

Thankful for: this day, other believers, frozen yogurt, the McDowell's, mission opportunities, and the book of 1st John.