Last night, I was on the phone with my friend Christin and decided to check my email... I had a message from my professor, Dr. Taylor. In the beginning of the summer, I made a trip to Sydney Australia with him. Well, the email read "shocking news from australia" with an attachment that said
"Dr Taylor,
I know you all are having a busy summer but I wanted to let you all know of
some bad news we received today.
We are not sure of all the details but Tneil, the young lady who worked at
the Aris coffee shop, passed away last night. I know some of your team
members had befriended her and had been a ministry to her. I will be glad
to pass some details along as I get them if you would like.
Please pray for her parents and brother who are left behind.
Thanks
Andy"
This was my least favorite news ALL day, ALL summer, ALL YEAR. How come this had to happen? When I was in Australia, God really blessed me by allowing me to meet Tenneale. She was a barista at Gloria Jeans, where we spent most of our time. Seriously, I spent more time in Gloria Jeans those ten days than I spent ANYWHERE else. Tenneale was a very faithful and hard worker, she worked every single day that we were there (she might have had one day off, cannot remember). Either way, I felt extremely attracted to her... the attraction was of the Lord and one to tell her of His love for her. I remember very clearly one day, just sitting on top of the freezer while she worked and talking to her about the Lord. She probably thought "Chynna is asking way too many questions." But I asked anyways and I shared with her the importance of surrendering to God. She was glad to hear what I had to say, and I could tell because she kept smiling. The only problem was, I felt as if maybe she did not really want Him. I even want to say she said she would surrender all to Him when she got older, because that's what older people do.
Being in Australia was one of the most challenging times of my life, not because it was bad in any way... but because mentally, I was not focused on God's amazing grace the way that He calls us to. This caused me to be less bold and more selfish. Forgive me, Lord. Deep down, I know that there is more that I could have shared with my friend Tenneale and I did not.
When I received the email last night, I started to cry heaps. All I could do was cry & pray in my prayer language (and I am not ashamed to write that). It was as if God was speaking through me and to me... and although I might not have fully understood what I was praying, God comforted me. Every time that I started to cry, God would pray through me or calm me down in any way that He saw fit. I was thankful.
It is hard to think that she passed away. To remember all the time that I had to share with her the love of God. I know God placed us there for her. That could not be more obvious. My deepest desire is that some time in between my conversation with her & her death, she gave her life to Christ. I feel like the more emails we receive from Australia, the more I will know.
God has opened my eyes to the truth that life is nothing. It comes and it goes. My prayer life has changed since I received the news about Tenneale. I am not ashamed of the fact that God often prays through me. He wants me to pray always; He wants every one to pray always. For prayer is nothing less than communion with the CREATOR of the us all. Prayer is beautiful.
Every where that I go, every person that has walked by me has been lifted up to heaven. I can not help but bless all that surround me.
To think, God used the death of a sweet precious friend of mine to draw me closer to His heart. His thoughts & ways really are much higher than mine.
The night was full of tears, prayers, reading and eventually sleeping.
I was supposed to go to church with my friend Christin this morning, but it did not work out... because I woke up in so much pain. Please pray for me. My physical body has been in so much pain lately. I will randomly fall into heaps of pain. My stomach, heart, lungs... just everything starts hurting and all I can do is bend down and wait for some of the pressure to be released. If you could pray that God would completely and totally heal me, I would be grateful. Bless you for your prayers.
Well, I ended up reading in Matthew this morning. So blessed by Matthew 5:3-9.
After some extra rest, I felt led to go to IHOP atlanta. Not the pancake restaurant. IHOP stands for international house of prayer. It is a mission base in Atlanta, a half a mile away from my stepdad's house.
http://ihop-atlanta.com/en_history.html
As I was getting out of my car I heard God say "Quiet & gentle. Quiet & gentle."
Then suddenly I started praying this,
Is it my soul you want to feed?
By prayer and petition, I'll present my request
When I must leave my heart will be at rest
You answer all my prayers with a kiss
In Your presence there is nothing that I miss
As soon as I got into the prayer room, I knew God had called me there. I was so blessed in His presence. I was literally refreshed. Being with Him is really the only place I want to rest. Just soaking in His presence is enough for me. Always.
My time at IHOP Atlanta was beautiful. I will go back. I always want to go back there when I leave. It never fails. The place isn't what attracts people, it God's Holy Spirit... Not that His Holy Spirit only dwells there, but it is welcomed there. IHOP Atlanta, like many other sanctuarys, is a safe place for Christians to just rest in His presence without the rush of life surrounding them.
The worship leaders were most definitely lead by Holy Spirit. Every song that they sang spoke directly to my spirit & reminded me of God's love. God spoke through every word that they sang. All glory to Him.
Leaving IHOP Atlanta I realized that my prayer was answered.
I am starting to really understand what God requires of us... that is, ALL.
Thank you to all who prayed for me. God heard you.
Thankful for: God's grace and mercy, the prayers of my friends and time alone.
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